marriage
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when do you realize it has come to it's end? when do you quit staying just for the kids? how useless must you feel before you finally let go?
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- For me, It took me several years of breakup and infidelity on her part to realize it was over.
- I was always a pretty individual person who didn't express a ton of emotion or affection. I guess she had to go out and get it elsewhere.
- As far as feelings go, I felt as if I was a failure. Also could not come to terms with the fact that is was over for quite some time. It took me several years to mentally let go, forgive her, myself, and start to become social and date again.
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the ups and downs get to be ridiculous. ie. talking on the phone and then in the same room 10 minutes later. phone call goes great, face to face goes to defcon 1. i guess it could be me. 17 years and it is the worst it has ever been. i also have seperated 3 times and always demand we try to work it out. we have 4 kids so i try to do right by them. fighting isn't it and divorce may be better then watching us fight.
what to do what to do.
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My big brother just got married…I can barely entertain myself let alone be responsible for at least one other human being, I'm not selfish, far from it, and for that reason I don't think I'm too keen on marriage.
I completely agree that people can have good marriages, but vast vegas-odds majority are black holes which and nothing more.
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Foreigner - I want to know what love is.
^ listen to this and cry. Then figure it out.
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Tony,
Speaking as a child that went through two divorces I only wish they came earlier. I have so many memories of fighting, in fact most of my early memories are of my parents fighting in one way or another with only a few nice years in between. Both times I was relieved when my parents divorced so don't make the kids the reason for staying. As for the rest only you know if you really want to go. There is hope, my Mothers 3rd marriage has gone very well with little fighting and even when they did they kept it civil so it didn't mess me up being around them.
I have been married twice and divorced twice myself, the first had too much fighting and I was miserable, the second had no love left in it, it was just convenient. I tend to think marriage is a silly thing that people really don't need but i keep falling into them. I'm getting married again on the 5th of July, mostly because we might have kids and her father would freak if we were not married. To me it's just a piece of paper it really doesn't matter, I was already committed long before now, and I'll leave if it starts to be a bad thing papers or not.
Good luck.
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thanks for that
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for sure, i know it's hard stuff and i wish you all the best.
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Just to add, I've been separated from my child's mom since she was two years old. Once we both accepted it was over and it was best to part ways, we rationally came up with a plan and managed to make it work without getting any outside entities such as courts, counselors involved. She's now a freshman in high school, one of the best female snowboarders her age in the nation, and we still pretty much split our time with her and do the best we can.
Speaking on Datsusara's comment about remembering your parents fighting at an early age. Prior to our split up, there was a time when my little girl, about 2 1/2 years old at the time would blow a whistle when we were fighting. To this day, she still brings that up to me on occasion. It still affects me knowing that she thinks about it enough to bring it up. It's amazing how the negative memories from childhood are often neurologically programmed, yet we are often quick to forget some of the best moments of our lives.
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Steven, yes very true, and a little sad how that works. On a related note I also saw the movie “time bandits” when I was very young and in my dreams I would mix the wall pushing part with the yelling face with my parents voices yelling. Crazy brain things.
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